It's after midnight. There's only 9 more days until my boyfriend visits. By now, I'd normally be extremely nervous. But I'm not nervous. If anything, I'm extremely excited. I wish I could fast forward time. I wish he was already here.
Some people might say that I shouldn't get my hopes up, just in case things aren't how I imagine they'll be.
But I'm honestly not worried about that.
We've known each other for 3-months. We've been together for a little over 2-months. We've gone on video call NEARLY every day, since we fell in love with each other (The middle of May). We get along just fine. I love him. My parents already adore him. His family seems to like me (So far). And he makes me happy.
I'm not worried about him getting here and him no longer having feelings for me, or me no longer having feelings for him. That's just not going to happen. And those that think otherwise? They clearly don't know how much we love each other. When I think about myself, I think of all the flaws I have. But he still loves me. He still thinks I'm perfect. I'm sure he thinks that he has a ton of flaws, too. But I also love him and think he's perfect. It's silly for people to think that we'll meet and be disappointed with each other, and no longer want to be together. That's really not how love works. I mean, if you were just "talking" to someone...? Yeah, you could meet them and no longer be interested. But "talking" to someone and being in love with someone are two completely different things.
My boyfriend ended up going to the E.R., on Saturday night, due to having tooth problems. They told him the tooth problems are coming from an abscess tooth. They gave him some pretty strong painkillers that make him feel like a zombie. But at least they take his pain away. He said he was going to try to see his dentist, before he visits me. Which is for the best. I'd probably bawl my eyes out, if he was in any pain. Because I wouldn't be able to take away that kind of pain. When he was at the E.R., they did the basic stuff. All this time, my boyfriend kept telling me that he was either 5'10" or 5'11". As it turns out, he's actually 6'2". So now there's a 10" height difference between us. I'm not going to be able to reach his lips. But he promised he'd bend down to kiss me.
My boyfriend's birthday was on the 27th. He just turned 20. I didn't really know what to get him. I ended up buying him TWO birthday cards and one funny card. And then I ended up getting him this PS4 video game that he wanted. It's called "Nioh", which I THINK is pronounced like KNEE-OH. I could be completely wrong, though. But I didn't feel like that was "enough". So I made him a very sentimental gift. It's a small photo album. I designed two stick figures to kind of look like us. And the photo album has photos of these stick figures. And each page says something pretty cute. It's an extremely sentimental gift that I'm POSITIVE he'll love.
So it's a really sentimental and sweet photo album. There are 30 photos, all together. I just wanted to do something special, for his birthday present. Something meaningful.
I bought a basic brown teddy bear. When my boyfriend visits, him and I are going to go to Build-A-Bear. They have these "personal messages" for $8. They're these small, disc-shaped objects. And you get to record your personal message, up to 10-seconds long. So I ran the idea by him, last night. I asked him if he could record a personal message of him saying, "I love you." on it. And he had no problems with that. After that personal message gets recorded onto the disc, I'm going to put it inside of the teddy bear's paw. Just like they do at Build-A-Bear. It's just... Their bears are so expensive. And I didn't like the way any of them looked (Shocking??). So I bought a teddy bear I did like. And then I get to hear my boyfriend tell me that he loves me WHENEVER I WANT. And I'm already super excited about it. Eeeep!!!
The photos above are from the summer house. So there are a few summer house video call screenshots, and one summer house selfie. And, ughhh. I just can't get over how incredibly handsome he is. On top of him being incredibly sweet, loving, caring, kind, thoughtful, endearing, compassionate, affectionate, romantic, and amazing. I'm incredibly lucky to have him.
Do those texts seem to come from a man that is "settling" with a fat chick, because he doesn't think he can do better...? No, I don't think so. Those texts definitely came from a man that genuinely loves me and cares about me. Trust me: IF he wanted someone else, he could EASILY get anyone he wanted. But this is a man that loves me and constantly tells me that he wants to spend his life with me. A man that constantly tells me that he'd never hurt me, because I'm the only one he's ever truly loved. This isn't a man that is being forced into a relationship he doesn't really want to be in. This is a man that is with me, because he wants to be with me. This is a man that loves me. This is a man that has his life together, despite being young. This is a man that is putting in so much effort to make me happy and make our relationship work. Not every man with a fat chick is "settling", or has a fetish for fat chicks crushing them (Which is super weird). He loves me for me. He prefers fat chicks, yes, but I'm the only fat chick he's ever been with. He prefers older women, yes, but I'm the only older woman he's ever been with. And when we talk, it doesn't feel like there's a huge age difference. He's very mature. He knows how to make me happy and how to make me feel special. This is a man; Not a boy. And I'm so glad to be able to call him MINE.
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