Tuesday, March 17th, 2020 at 3:42pm EST

I recently got a beautiful tattoo done.  I wanted to share it here.  I got it on the outside of my right leg.

Tuxedo Moonlight

J-Dubz at 727 Tattoos

My husband recently got his Louis Vuitton logo tattoo covered up, too, on his left forearm.

Octopus

J-Dubz at 727 Tattoos

Tuesday, March 17th, 2020 at 3:28pm EST

To Everyone I've Ever Ghosted,

I'm honestly not sorry for ghosting you.

Before I go into a deep explanation, I want to make one thing perfectly clear: My husband had ZERO part of this.  My husband isn't jealous, nor is he controlling.  And not once did my husband ever suggest, force, or manipulate me into cutting ties with anyone in my life.

If I ghosted you, it's because you were toxic to ME.  You can't heal in the same environment that made you sick.  And most times, holding on does more damage than letting go.

I stayed in toxic friendships for the same reason why I stayed in toxic relationships: I felt trapped.

But I couldn't handle the amount of toxicity that I endured.

I endured comments about how worthless I was for not really knowing how to cook that many things (Despite learning), being morbidly obese, being a female (In general), not having a job, and not being very attractive.  My self-worth had been degraded by my so-called "friends".

When did it become okay for everyone to be so cruel towards me?

A couple of months before I met my husband, I met another man.  He wrote poems about me.  His poems consisted of me being the light of his life, not knowing what love was before he met me, and thinking I was the most beautiful person alive.  I remember he took $90 of his disability check and spent it on 4 Feisty Pets plush toys for me.  My very first ones, actually.  He knew how much I wanted them.  And it made me feel so special that he remembered.  But I never fully gave myself to him, because something always felt wrong.  One day, our mutual friend messaged me.  He was concerned that I was talking to this man a little too much.  He eventually told me that this man had been in a relationship for the past 10 years, and expressed that he didn't want me to get hurt.  I confronted this man, asking him why he never told me.  I was upset, but not shocked.  Like I said, something felt wrong.  And this was it.  As soon as I found out, I stopped communication with that man.  I even stopped communication with our mutual friend.  I'm not a homewrecker.  And if I knew that man was in a relationship, I wouldn't have pursued anything with him.

And on top of that, I was dealing with other men that weren't worth my time.  Ugh...

A couple of months passed by, and I was starting to feel really negative about myself.  I somehow stumbled across a Body Positivity group for BBWs and SSBBWs.  I joined.  I made a couple of posts, and got flooded with friend requests.  They were mainly from Indians and Nigerians, but there were a few Americans in there.  I'm a fairly private person, though, and I didn't want these strangers on my friend list.  I was rejecting their friend requests, one-by-one.  And then... Things got a bit complicated.

I received a friend request from someone.  His profile photo (At the time) was a dirt biking photo.  And all of his other photos and posts were all on private.  I didn't know what he looked like, or what he was like.  I didn't know where he lived.  I didn't know anything about this stranger.  There was a voice inside my head that told me, "Don't reject his friend request!", so I didn't.  In fact, I also didn't approve his friend request.  I left him waiting for 2 days, wondering why I couldn't bring myself to reject the friend request.  Something kept telling me not to, and I didn't know why.  After making him wait for 2 days, I finally accepted his friend request.  Within an hour, he sent me a message.  This gave me an hour to snoop through his photos and posts.  He had a lot of female friends.  Overly flirty ones, too.  And I thought he was somewhere between 22-24 years old.  And the extremely weird thing is... I felt insanely jealous of these overly flirty female friends of his.  But I found this man to be absolutely breathtaking.

When we did finally start talking, the conversation just naturally flowed.  And it felt like I had known him forever, which is the bizarre part.  I found out he was 19, almost 20.  Quite a few years off my 22-24 years old assumption.  When he'd leave to go to bed, or leave for work, I felt abandoned.  Within a matter of hours, I was so attached to this young man.  Thankfully, he also felt it.  After the second day of talking, we confessed that we loved each other.  After the third day of talking, we confessed that we were in love with each other.  I know everyone thinks that's really fast.  And they're right; It was really fast.  However... This was the first time in my entire life that I felt an overwhelming sense of love.  Like the Universe or a Higher Power made sure that we crossed paths.  And I know that sounds so insane, but there was an immediate connection with this man that I've never felt with anyone else.  I was happy.  And when he asked me to be his girlfriend, instead of one of those other overly flirty females, I knew it was because he wanted to be with ME; Not them.

Of course, I had people whispering terrible things in my ears.  I'm still not sure if it's because they were genuinely concerned for me, or because they couldn't bare the thought that I was happy and they weren't...

"How do you know that he's not doing things behind your back?  He lives STATES away.  Long distance relationships never work out.  Are you sure you can trust him?"

The Short Answer: Yes, I'm sure I can trust him.

I married this man on Halloween 2018.  This man made the sacrifice to leave his entire family behind, to come live with me.  This man is my husband.  And I would do anything and everything to make him happy.  But in order to do that, I had to make myself happy.  I had to ghost the toxic people in my life.  And for that, I'm honestly not sorry.  My husband has done more for me in the 3 years that I've known him for, than any of those so-called "friends" ever did for me.  Even before my husband came to see me for the first time, he took care of my soul.  He made me smile.  He made me laugh.  He made me feel safe.  And he always asked me how I was.  He never made the conversation all about him.  He wanted to make sure I was okay.  Even after he just had a 12 hour long work shift doing landscaping in the desert heat, he'd make sure I was okay.  Even a few weeks later (When him and his family went to the summer house), when he had a severe toothache, he made sure I was okay.  He barely talked about the amount of massive pain he was in, because he wanted to talk to me.  And just a week later, I finally got to hold him in my arms.  He made sacrifices for me.  He made life altering choices for me.  And no one has ever done that before.  And, yet, my so-called "friends" wanted me to put this man on trial for things that he never did.

So, in conclusion...

I'm honestly not sorry for ghosting anyone.

My husband thinks I'm beautiful.

I've learned more cooking recipes that my husband enjoys eating.

My husband told me that if I was under 200 lbs. he wouldn't even want to be with me, BECAUSE HE PREFERS FAT WOMEN.

My husband doesn't care that I don't have a job.

And above all, I'm happy.

Monday, April 29th, 2019 at 2:36pm EST

Over the past 3 days, I've been doing a cleanse.  A cleanse over my personal life, that is.

I've deleted all of my YouTube videos.  Since I had to delete them one at a time, it took longer than I expected.  Thankfully, I didn't have that many.  I think I had a total of 58 videos, all together.  But since the videos haven't been monetized in years, I haven't been making money off them.  And there's really no sense of keeping my videos up there, to be honest.

I also found out that Google keeps an "Archived" folder filled with photos.  I was able to get the photos of me with Butch Patrick, Bobby & Diana Steele, and Tony Moran, on my very first trip to Spooky Empire, in December 2016.  I somehow lost them off my laptop and phone.  So I was happy that Google kept THOSE photos stored.

However... I found 1,600+ photos that I DID NOT want to see.  The vast majority of the photos were of my ex, my ex and me together, and screenshots of my ex and me on video call.  But there were also numerous other photos I posted.  Photos I posted in an attempt to impress a guy that didn't want me.

Seeing all of these 1,600+ photos really brought back some bad memories...

The situations I've been in have been so incredibly toxic.  And I've allowed myself to be in those toxic situations, because I didn't think I deserved better.

My ex was a nightmare.  He would always feel the need to gaslight me, in order to feel some type of control over me.  And it worked.  He would always tell me that no one else would ever love me and no one else would ever want to be with me.  And, at the same time, promise that he would never hurt me.  But my ex's definition of "I promise to never hurt you." really turned out to be, "I'm going to do things behind your back, but you'll never find out." Unfortunately for him, I found out.  And when I brought everything to his attention, he gaslighted me AGAIN.  On top of that, he would threaten to kill himself if I left him. I felt obligated to stay with him.  But it got to the point where I couldn't forgive him, or forget what he did to me.  I wasn't happy.  And I didn't want to stay with him.  In all honesty, him and I should have never even gotten involved with each other.  The red flags I ignored at the beginning of our relationship, were the same red flags that caused us issues throughout the entire relationship, causing me to end things.  And if I could change ONE THING from my past, I would have never sent him those emails.  I would have chosen to wipe my ex completely out of my life, all together.  They always say that undoing the past could alter the future.  But removing my ex from my life wouldn't have altered anything.  His presence in my life didn't effect my later events, at all.

Even after I broke things off with my ex, things were still bizarre between us.  He felt like it was okay to flirt with me and say perverted things towards me.  And even after I told him numerous times to stop, he just kept being a Douche Canoe.

I hit a rough point in my life where I started self-harming again.  I hadn't done that since I was an early teenager.  My ex made the hurtful comment, "What if you meet a great guy and he sees your scars?  He won't want to be with you, because he'll think you're mentally compromised." Thanks, you Twat Waffle.

When my ex found out that I was talking to Steven, who happens to be 7 years younger than me, he felt the need to give his opinion on our relationship.  He told me it would never work out, because Steven is younger than I am.  Really, dude?  The 3 guys I dated before Steven were ALL older than me.  And it didn't work out with any of them.  So for my ex to tell me it wouldn't work, due to Steven being younger, was total nonsense.  Because it DID work out.  And we're married.  So I'd say it worked out pretty damn well.

But after he decided to give his personal opinions about Steven, who had done NOTHING wrong, is when I finally banished him from my life.  Even before Steven and I got together.  And my life has been a lot more peaceful ever since then.

Oh, and my scars?  Steven is a wonderful man.  And Steven knew about my scars before we even got into a relationship.  Not once did he EVER make me feel like I wasn't worthy of being loved, due to my self-harm scars.  Never.

So seeing photos of this Joy Thief made me MISERABLE.

And the other photos?  Well... I just don't think people should take advantage over other people like that.  To be asked for those photos, just to use me for their own personal sick pleasure, was wrong.  And I feel like I was violated.

It took over 7 hours to delete all of the photos that I no longer wanted to be associated with my Google account.  And while other people couldn't see these photos, I didn't want ANY part of them.  And, just like the YouTube videos, I had to delete these archived photos one-by-one. I had the option of deleting the entire archived album, but I had 100+ photos of my husband, and screenshots of our messages and videos calls.  And I didn't want to lose those photos.

I had to wait until my husband went to work, before deleting them.  I didn't want to look at these photos.  And I sure as Hell didn't want my husband to see those photos.

Seeing all of those photos made me seriously sick to my stomach.

To be so brainwashed into believing that I couldn't do better, so forcing myself to stay in toxic situations, is so messed up.

And I am just so thankful and grateful that I've moved on and made better life choices.  And finding Steven was a true blessing, because my husband is an absolute angel.  My husband has seen me on my darkest days and still made me feel worthy of being loved.

Saturday, March 16th, 2019 at 7:24pm EST

This post is a few weeks late...

Steven booked our airplane tickets.  On June 12th, we'll be flying west.  We'll be staying with his family until sometime in August.

I'm super anxious.  His family is massive.  And just a few days after we arrive, it'll be Father's Day.  So I'll be forced to meet all 60+ family members at once.  My anxiety is already through the roof.

I hope everything goes well...

Saturday, January 26th, 2019 at 10:53pm EST

Despite my last blog being super long, I still managed to leave some stuff out.  Ughhh.

So this blog post is going to be a TOTAL MESS.  It's just going to be bits and pieces thrown around EVERYWHERE.  So bare with me...

I decided to get Steven and me some personalized Christmas ornaments, since we just got married.  I thought it would be super special, because every couple seems to have them.  And I wanted something to kind of... Commemorate our first Christmas as a married couple.  You know?

Mine & Steven's personalized Christmas tree ornaments.

From GiftsForYouNow

I also felt like mine & Steven's room needed a small Christmas tree, too.  Just to make things a little more... Festive...?

Mine & Steven's "The Nightmare Before Christmas" mini Christmas tree.

From Walgreens.

When Steven and I went to Bath & Body Works, he saw a cute mini puppy dog.  It has a magnet on the belly area.  Apparently, it's meant to be a "topper" for their candles.  It's just supposed to stick to the top of the metal lids.  But it was adorable and cheap, so Steven wanted to get it for me.

The mini magnetic puppy dog (Meant for metal candle lids) Steven bought for me.

From Bath & Body Works.

When we went to K-Mart, Steven wanted to try the claw machine.  He told me he's never won anything out of a claw machine before.  I pointed at the purple lion and I said, "He's cute.  Try for him." And he won the purple lion on his first try.

The purple lion plush toy Steven won for me.

From the K-Mart claw machine.

We went to Target and had just passed the card section.  I was picking out a Valentine's Day card for Steven.  He has a REALLY bad memory.  So I told him that he should get some birthday cards for his family.  His brother's birthday was January 3rd, his grandfather's birthday was January 14th, and his grandmother's birthday is January 26th.  I got to help him pick out the cards.  Target had a card sale going on.  If you buy 3 cards, you get a free Valentine's Day hedgehog or monkey.  And I obviously chose the hedgehog.

The Valentine's Day hedgehog Steven got me for free.

From Target.

One of the packages Bath & Body Works sent me, from an online order I placed, arrived damaged.  I was buying their Christmas stuff and the bottles came leaking and everything.  I contacted Bath & Body Works.  They told me they couldn't replace the products, because the Christmas products I ordered were out of stock.  However, they refunded the entire order PLUS sent me an additional $15 for the inconvenience.  So I used the refund to purchase my husband a bottle of Bath & Body Works Noir cologne.  Our favorite scent!

The Noir cologne I bought for Steven.

From Bath & Body Works.

When Steven got done with work, one night, he wanted to swing by Publix.  I stayed in the car and waited for him.  When he came out, he was holding a HUGE Orchid!  My favorite flower!

The Orchid Steven bought for me.

From Publix.

We went to Five Below, one day, and Steven bought me 2 plush toy pillows.

The leopard and pink elephant plush toy pillows Steven bought for me.

From Five Below.

We went to the mall, one day, and Steven got me a "Traditional Lantern" wallflower plug, along with 6 different scents, from Bath & Body Works.  And he also got me a nightshirt, from Torrid.  The nightshirt says, "Never Perfect, Always Beautiful." on it.

The "Traditional Lantern" wallflower plug, 6 scents, and Torrid nightshirt.

From Bath & Body Works and Torrid.

Steven bought me these 2 Tatty Teddies, for my Valentine's Day present.  They're coming from the U.K., so he wanted to make sure to order them super early, so they'd arrive in time for Valentine's Day.

Left: You Make Me So Happy

Right: You're The Love Of My Life And The Only One For Me

I had another Bath & Body Works online order.  It was for more Christmas scents.  It was the "Winter Candy Apple" scent that everyone else seemed to be crazy about.  However, I guess I'm just not crazy over the scent of apples.  I don't know.  So I returned them to the closest Bath & Body Works store, while Steven was at work.  And I ended up using the refund to buy my husband 6 bottles of the Noir shower gel.  His Noir shower gel bottle was almost empty.  And instead of getting myself something, I wanted to get my husband something that he needed.  It was a surprise gift for my husband, so I made sure to grab a few of the ribbons and cellophane bags that you can take for free.  We both love the Noir scent, so this was something that was a gift for both of us.

The Noir shower gel.

From Bath & Body Works.

My gift wrapping isn't the best, but I tried.

The Noir shower gel.

From Bath & Body Works.

As pretty as they were going to be!

Steven treated me and my father to brunch, at Denny's

Our meals.

I haven't been to Denny's in so long.

I wanted to get Steven and me some personalized return address labels.  I ended up finding these on eBay.  And I instantly fell in love with them!  However, we both agreed to get some more personalized return address labels that aren't "spooky".  They'd strictly be used for his family, since they're religious.  The cemetery ones might make them uncomfortable.

Mine and Steven's personalized return address labels.

Okay, I'm done.  As you can see... ALL OVER THE PLACE!

Friday, January 25th, 2019 at 3:27am EST

I haven't posted in over a month.  Things have been crazy around here.

My 28th birthday was nice.  We celebrated my birthday on the Saturday before my actual birthday.  That way, my husband and my father were both off work.  We went to "Harold Seltzer's Steakhouse", as always, and I got my New Zealand Rack of Lamb!  With Mint Jelly, of course.  They also included a bowl of Home Made Garlic Croutons and a bowl of Home Made Garlic Rolls.

My birthday dinner came with a bottle of wine and a Napoleon dessert.  Their Napoleon is TO DIE FOR.  Most places use a hard wafer.  But they actually use soft, crumbled up graham cracker pieces.  So it's a lot softer and has a better flavor.  My husband decided he wanted to try a bottle of the "White Zinfandel" wine.  He ended up drinking too much wine, though, since he's really not a drinker.  He ended up getting wine drunk.  He giggled for the rest of the night, uncontrollably.  And when he wasn't giggling, he kept staring at me and telling me, "You're so beautiful!" over and over again.  But I'm DEFINITELY not complaining about that.  It made me feel super special.  But as soon as my birthday celebration was over with, he passed out.  Hard.

I got a 5TB external hard drive, 2 tank tops, and 3 gift cards.  So my birthday gifts were also nice.

My husband got me 2 Tatty Teddies, for my birthday present.  They were coming from the U.K., though, so I knew they wouldn't arrive in time for my birthday celebration.  They were supposed to arrive the day after my actual birthday, but... They were held at Customs for an entire week.  They ended up arriving just before Christmas.

Left: A Million Love Songs Later... I Still Love You

Right: All I Want For Christmas Is YOU

My handsome husband, holding the birthday presents he got for me. 

Speaking of Christmas, it was the best Christmas I've ever had.  All I've ever wanted was to spend Christmas with someone.  I was so upset, because I was SUPPOSED to spend Christmas 2017 with Steven.  His super religious Mennonite family told him to come home, and spend Christmas with his family.  So getting to spend Christmas 2018 with Steven was magical.  Especially since we had just gotten married, a couple of months before that.  So I'm happy that I got to spend my very first Christmas with my husband.  It was the best part about Christmas.

My Christmas presents.

My husband got me a $100 Bath & Body Works gift card.

My husband's Christmas presents.

I got him the 2 Marilyn Monroe t-shirts, the California t-shirt, the Diamond t-shirt, the Savage hat, the Diamond hat, and the winter hoodie for a total of $70.  Thank you, holiday sales!

My husband was my favorite Christmas present.

He passed out, after we finished opening Christmas presents.

My husband stuck a bow on my forehead and called me his Christmas present.  So I stuck a bow on his forehead and said the same to him.  And it was the cutest thing, ever.

My husband was my first Christmas kiss.  It made me feel so special.

Oh, and not to mention...

I ALSO had my first New Year kiss!

It was MAGICAL!

I didn't get a photo of our first Christmas kiss, but we did take a photo of our first New Year kiss.  We've never kissed anyone on Christmas OR New Year.  So this was a first for both of us.  So that made it even more special.

I've also turned into one of those women that are obsessed with Bath & Body Works.  Ugh.  I kind of hate myself for that.  But I fell in love with their "Dark Kiss" scent.  The scent is a mixture of Black Raspberry, Burgundy Rose, Bergamot Incense, Dark Vanilla Bean, and Plum Musk.  So I've been using that Shower Gel, Body Cream, AND Fine Fragrance Mist.  It's a "Retired Scent", so I can only get it on their website and not in their stores.  However, when they had their "Semi-Annual Sale" going on, they had a whole entire box filled with my "Dark Kiss" scent.  And they were on sale for $3.95 each!  So I was super happy.

That being said... I've been OBSESSED with Bath & Body Works "Wallflower Fragrance Plugs".  They're cute designs that plug into an outlet.  And they hold a wallflower fragrance scent inside of them.  Some of them are super strong.  Some of them aren't strong, at all.  I fell in love with the "Cinnamon Spiced Vanilla" scent.  However, my husband and I can't smell it.  And we keep it inside of our bedroom, which isn't very big.  Still... Unless our noses are right up against the plug, we can't smell it.  But the "White Caramel Cold Brew" and the "Marshmallow Fireside" have a pretty strong smell.  Unfortunately, "Marshmallow Fireside" was a seasonal scent, and only available during the Christmas season.  The "White Caramel Cold Brew" is a new scent, and it smells just like caramel coffee.  Each scent is supposed to last 4 weeks.

Snowflake - Wallflower Fragrance Plug - Nightlight

This was the very first "Wallflower Fragrance Plug" I got.

Traditional Lantern - Wallflower Fragrance Plug - Nightlight

My husband bought this one for me.

Vintage Lantern - Wallflower Fragrance Plug - Nightlight

This was part of their 2018 Christmas line.

Butterflies - Wallflower Fragrance Plug - Nightlight

I bought this one for my mother, as a surprise present.

Butterflies are her favorite

I plan to get more of these beauties.  Preferably more of the nightlight ones, since I love the way they look.  However, I saw tons of older ones on eBay.  Most didn't have any nightlights attached.  And they still looked just as lovely.  We'll have to wait and see.  I'm picky about the designs.

I saw a Facebook ad for a new perfume.  They were giving away discount codes for 75% off the item price.  The perfume was originally $30.  I ended up getting it for $7.50.  It's a 1.7 fl. oz. bottle of "Sexy Secret" by Jean Marc Paris.  I can't quite describe the smell, but... It smells pretty feminine.  The scent is a mixture of Pink Berries, Sparkling Mandarin, Crystalized Sugar, Passion Flower, Jasmine, Pink Rose, French Vanilla, Crushed Almonds, and Sandalwood.  I can smell the French Vanilla, Sandalwood, Crystalized Sugar, and Pink Rose.  But I can't make out the other ingredients.  Regardless, it smells very nice.  And I would have definitely paid more than $7.50 for this scent.

Sexy Secret by Jean Marc Paris

Peatos

I know this is random, BUT!  These are HEAVENLY!

My husband and I BOTH agreed that these are BETTER than Cheetos!  Basically... It tastes like a dehydrated pea, LIGHTLY covered in a low-fat cheese powder.  I know that must be a TERRIBLE description, but they are SO ADDICTING!  And healthy, too!  Unfortunately, they're not sold anywhere near me.  So I had to buy mine off Amazon.  They're sold in packages of 4 for $14.99.  If I could, I'd be buying these all the time!  And, no, definitely not a paid-for-spokesperson.  I'm not getting any money for saying this.  They're just really good.

RNRBath - Handmade Scented Hand Soaps

I've also had super dry skin, ever since I was young.  And my husband has an extremely bad habit of biting the skin around his nails and knuckles.  I've only heard about people with anxiety doing this.  But my husband is the most extroverted person you'll ever meet.  So I wanted to find some super nourishing / moisturizing hand soaps.  I figured using these special hand soaps AND using body cream on our hands will handle our skin issues.  I found this Etsy seller (RNRBath).  She sells handmade scented hand soaps.  And she's SUPER friendly!  I asked if she was capable of making super nourishing / moisturizing hand soaps.  And she said she could!  She's going to add Jojoba Milk and Shea Butter into the hand soaps, in order to give it that specific texture I'm looking for.

From Top To Bottom: Black Opium (A scent based off my FAVORITE perfume!!) x2, Spiced Gingerbread & Vanilla x6, Apple Jack & Peel x1, and Vanilla Bean Noel x1.

I've also made quite a few of these double-layered acrylic pendants.

Once they're gone, I won't be making anymore!

Orange & Black Pumpkin Kitty

White & Black Mickey Mouse + Jack Skellington collaboration

Black & Orange Pumpkin Kitty

You can find all of my current listings at the link below (Clickable):

www.mercari.com/u/519735141

If you don't have a Mercari account, you can sign up using my code - DDJPUV

Sunday, December 16th, 2018 at 9:30pm EST

Tomorrow is my 28th birthday.  None of my "friends" even bothered sending me a birthday card.  I shouldn't be upset about that, but I am.  I go out of my way, every single year, to get my "friends" birthday cards.  And, every single year, NO ONE remembers to get me a birthday card.  The same thing happened for Christmas cards, too, actually.  And cards aren't exactly cheap.  And when you get enough stamps, that's also pretty pricey.  I go out of my way to get my "friends" birthday cards and Christmas cards, every single year, just for my "friends" to forget all about me.  It just makes me feel stupid for believing that I'm important in anyone's life...

Actually, I should start classifying myself as "the pushover".  I'm the person my "friends" come to when they NEED something from me.  And my dumbass ALWAYS does whatever they need from me.

And then I end up feeling guilty.  Why?  Because people always tell you, "You should give without expecting anything in return." But when I keep on giving, without anyone even appreciating my efforts OR thanking me for those efforts, I'm making myself look like a damn idiot.

At least I have my husband.  And, unlike everyone else, he actually goes out of his way to make me feel special and loved.  I get all the cuddles and kisses I could ever ask for.  He's patient, kind, loving, and understanding.  I know I'm not the easiest person to be with, but he never makes me feel guilty for being myself, being overweight, and having these mental health issues.  He always makes me feel like the Queen of his heart.  And that's all I could ever ask for.  As long as I have him, I know I'll have a best friend that would bend over backwards for me, just as I would bend over backwards for him.

And my husband FINALLY helped me realize that the people that treat me that way are NOT my "friends".  So I dropped them.  And he helped me drop those "friends".  And, during the process, I kept BEGGING him to stop.  But now? ...I don't feel guilty for cutting ties with people that are toxic for me to be associating myself with.  And I don't understand why I BEGGED my husband to stop forcing me to cut those ties.  He did it, because he HATED seeing me so upset by these "friends" making me feel replaceable and nonexistent.  He HATED seeing me bend over backwards for "friends" that were USING me.

By putting other people first, you show them that you come second.

Anyway...

My husband and I FINALLY got our belated Wedding Day photos taken.  They were taken at the Florida Botanical Gardens.  It was SO BEAUTIFUL there.

 We also took some belated Wedding Day selfies, too...

My husband and I also got matching Wedding Day Date tattoos.  I chose the font!  I think it's called "Mistress Script".  It's very simple and clean.

10.31.2018

I don't think I ever posted a photo of the Michael Myers tattoo, that I brought up in a previous blog post...

Drawn by a local artist (WhackInk)

Tattooed by Mike Strong (727 Tattoos)