Someone once told me that I should look for someone that was the complete opposite of me. I always shrugged it off. Back then, I wanted to find someone that also struggled with depression and anxiety. Someone that was EXACTLY like me.
I was delusional.
When Steven and I finally did meet up, in mid-August, is when I finally realized how different we were: He doesn't have depression, he doesn't have anxiety, he's an extrovert, he loves designer brands, he dresses in nice clothes (Even his "lounge clothes" are nicer than mine.), he loves cars, he wants to be a detective, he's really into motivational speakers, he's a Christian, his grandparents are Mennonite, he doesn't personally like tattoos (He's okay with mine, because they're hidden by my hair.), he had only seen a handful of horror movies, he prefers Xbox over PlayStation, he voted for Donald Trump, he's homophobic, etc. etc. - He's literally the polar opposite of me.
But opposites really do attract.
Despite our differences, he's everything I want. When I need someone, he's there for me. If I'm upset, he does his best to make me laugh. He listens to me, he wipes away my tears, he holds me tight, he treats me like a Goddess, he never makes me feel bad about myself, he gives me all the love in the world, he helps me with my jewelry, and so much more...
Not To Mention: Ever since we met, back in early May, I stopped self-harming. It took me a month or two before I even mentioned I have self-harm scars over me. And when he found out, all he said was, "I'll kiss every single one of your scars, when we finally do meet." And that's the purest form of love I could imagine.
So despite me wanting to find someone EXACTLY like me, I ended up finding someone the EXACT opposite of me. And I've never been happier.
I guess that person was right: I did need to find someone that was the exact opposite of me. It's probably the only decent advice I've ever received from that person.
Plus, we watched A LOT of horror films together. And he liked every single one of them. So now he's gone from "only a handful" to... I don't know. Quite a bit. I'm happy. I love watching horror films with him. He's the one that suggests we watch horror films, too. I love it.
Did I mention our sex life is AMAZING?! Steven is probably the least sexual person, ever. He's also the most polite person, too. Even if he was "in the mood", he would never suggest us doing anything. He finds it to be rude. So he waits until I ask for it. And it's just... Phenomenal. His penis, tongue, AND fingers are ALL fantastic. And even if it takes me 30-minutes to get off, he continues to lick / rub until I do get off. He's not one of those guys that lies and says, "Oh, my jaw hurts. I have to stop." Which is amazing. He's the first guy that has ever gone down on me, or rubbed me. He's the first guy that has ever given me an orgasm. And when he goes down on me... Wow... My bed sheets get SOAKED. That's not even an exaggeration. It's incredible. And he doesn't even have any prior experience with going down on OR rubbing someone. But he's truly gifted. My little 20-year-old sexual deviant. Grrrr.
He asked his grandparents if I could visit him. They said, "We don't have the extra space for her to stay. And she can't sleep on your bed with you, because that would be fornication in our house. So unless she has the money to stay in a motel room, we'd prefer if you visited her again. And you can visit her whenever you want to." They know we sleep in the same bed, when he's here. But that's different. It's not their house. But doing that in their house, where they can see? It's different. Even if we were just staying on the same bed and NOT doing anything sexual. They still don't want us on the same bed, unless we're married, in their house. I'm trying to get him to come back in late January, and stay for a few months. That way he'll be here for Valentine's Day AND our 1-Year-Anniversary (May 21st). But we're still working out the fine details on that. He can't come back until his family's birthdays have passed. And they're all in January. So I'm HOPING late January will be okay. Either way... I have another month to wait. And it feels like he's already been back home for YEARS, even though it's only been 7-days. Ughhh...
It's kind of weird how you can spend all your life not wanting kids, and then someone just... Changes your mind. I would love to have Steven's babies. I would love to have Steven as my husband. I would give anything to build a future with this 20-year-old man that I'm absolutely head-over-heals in love with. I've never loved someone as much as I love Steven. And I would do anything and everything to make him the happiest he's ever been, just as he's done for me.
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